# My God, This MMA Romance Novel



## Walker (May 27, 2007)

> My God, This MMA Romance Novel
> 
> 
> 
> ...


From:
http://www.cagepotato.

This is hilarious...:happy02:


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## jasvll (Mar 28, 2007)

'His hand fisted', 'mouth made of sin'

I can't wait to work those into a conversation or two.


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## Drogo (Nov 19, 2006)

His hands fisted, lol. At some point things become so bad that they are good. This is there, or cloes to it at least. I also eagerly await adding "fisted hands" to my vocabulary.


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## CornbreadBB (Jul 31, 2008)

> Imagine Michael’s surprise when she fulfills her end of the bargain and finds that, *to fulfill his he must travel into the future*!


It looks like we have a classic on our hands, boys!


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## Vikingpride (Jan 20, 2008)

Wow this is too much. Why did they do a romance novel and not just go for the full cinematic porn? By the way how did Matt Lindland not get the cover? 


Anyways this part of the article made me crack up


> Seriously? His hands “fisted?” I don’t know about Lori Foster, but the only way I'm aware of to use the word fisted as a verb involves an adventurous second party


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

LMAO at this modern classic. 

Wouldn't that be "a mouth made for sin?"

Goddamn, chicks are stupid.


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## Damone (Oct 1, 2006)

She has to work in a "Stephan Boner" reference.

"So, he stroked her, she can see he has a Stephan Boner"


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## itsallgood (Oct 5, 2007)

Damone said:


> She has to work in a "Stephan Boner" reference.
> 
> "So, he stroked her, she can see he has a Stephan Boner"


hahahaha im laughing


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## Fedor>all (Oct 22, 2006)

Damone said:


> She has to work in a "Stephan Boner" reference.
> 
> "So, he stroked her, she can see he has a Stephan Boner"


XFD

I can't believe this book's for real. :confused03:


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## SpoKen (Apr 28, 2007)

Damone said:


> She has to work in a "Stephan Boner" reference.
> 
> "So, he stroked her, she can see he has a Stephan Boner"


HAHAHAHA! That's freakin awesome.

I'm going to get that book and skim ahead to the sex part, the vocabulary will be great.

"He let out a warrior's cry" 10 bucks says that this is in the book during the sex scene.


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## Damone (Oct 1, 2006)

Spoken812 said:


> "He let out a warrior's cry" 10 bucks says that this is in the book during the sex scene.


Oh man, I know that's in the book.

"He showed heart in the bedroom"

Bet that's in there, too.


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

WTF is up with the nipple smack in the middle of the cover, anyway?

And he's wearing what look like lifting gloves, not "SBC" grappling gloves? o...k..


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## Damone (Oct 1, 2006)

Those will be the gloves you wear, kickass mama.....IN THE FUTURE!!!!


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## SpoKen (Apr 28, 2007)

Damone said:


> Oh man, I know that's in the book.
> 
> "He showed heart in the bedroom"
> 
> Bet that's in there, too.


HAHA! That's freakin golden!


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## plazzman (Mar 29, 2007)

This book is world class. Top of the heap.


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## SimplyNate (May 27, 2007)

He tweaked his nipples while circling the bed, he then leaped forward and shouted "And here we go!"


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## Damone (Oct 1, 2006)

Then, he shouted "IT'S ALL OVER!!!!" after splooging on her chest.


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## SimplyNate (May 27, 2007)

In my mind I was thinking that "He is the real deal!"


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## Damone (Oct 1, 2006)

After screwing the broad, another guy, who was watching in a chair, said "That guy is my hero!"


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## SimplyNate (May 27, 2007)

Judge Cecil peoples had scored the sex 30-27 for Michael but the other 2 judges gave me the split decision both scoring 30-28.


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## Vikingpride (Jan 20, 2008)

lets see some other lines which should be included in this classic. 

"In the middle of our love making i realized I was the first person to ever pass his guard and get into full mount."

Unlike most of the fights he had been in i put up no struggle when he tried to take my back. 

I thought i was going to be able to get away, but when he utilized the Wanderlei Silva **** choke. I knew i was done for. ( ok that might have been too far. Even i have a hard time joking about ****.)

If they include lines like the ones in this thread i see no reason why this would not make "Oprah's Book Club".


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## name goes here (Aug 15, 2007)

Hey they stole my idea! I was going to write an mma love novel. Though with less time travel. And less women. :* Sylvia-Sapp, the story of Tim Sylvia and Bob Sapp making a baby up the asshole

Hehehe, I think this novel is nothing but good news, I wouldn't read it, but it's good exposure


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## Couchwarrior (Jul 13, 2007)

A cheesy romance novel about MMA, time travel and fisting? I'll have to read that. :thumbsup:

"Mouth made of sin"... Is she talking about CB Dollaway's lips there?


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

It's clear to me what has to happen now. One of you has to step up to the plate and write the book this woman wishes she could have written.

When he pulled up in the driveway, she whispered to herself "It's tiiiiiiiime!"

arrrrggghhh


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## Damone (Oct 1, 2006)

"When he's having sex in the future, he always knows to hit the liver"



> "Mouth made of sin"... Is she talking about CB Dollaway's lips there?


I say some pretty random stuff, but WTF is this?


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## plazzman (Mar 29, 2007)

A labido second to none, Joe.


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## Damone (Oct 1, 2006)

"He throws his penis from weird angles"

"He throws his penis like a crazy, penis sandwich!"


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## plazzman (Mar 29, 2007)

"Just looking at him, I knew that if he were a girl, he'd have a badunka dunk"


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## Damone (Oct 1, 2006)

"And what a badonkadonk it is, Joe"


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## SimplyNate (May 27, 2007)

He must of been wondering "Why does it look like a goat's vagina" but I was not phased as I knew he had once known the pleasure of a goat."


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## SpoKen (Apr 28, 2007)

"she's on top, in the north south position"

"He's in her guard.. WHOA? Elbow?" He forgot where he was here.

"Here he is, making his bedroom debut! He said he was nervous coming in Joe."


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## Damone (Oct 1, 2006)

"The sex jitters are for real, Mike"


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

.........and he's on his back Joe! She's posturing up! As everybody knows, he would rather not work from his back.


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## Walker (May 27, 2007)

swpthleg said:


> .........and he's on his back Joe! She's posturing up! As everybody knows, he would rather not work from his back.


"No I actually think he's more than comfortable working off his back! He's said that he actually likes to be in this position to see what kind of ground and pound skills his opponent likes to use!" :thumb02:


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## Damone (Oct 1, 2006)

"Joe, I've never seen that kind of choke before, what kind of choke is that?"

"That is a **** choke"

I'm so going to hell for this.


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## randyspankstito (Sep 25, 2006)

"He's trying for a little north south position Joe."


"She needs to posture up and use her hips here Mike, or she's gonna be eating that penis all day long"

"Did you know she's been through over a hundred competitors allready? She used to do it at her friends shows for free, just for practice. I was rolling with her the other day."


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## IcemanCometh (Mar 9, 2007)

Its amazing what research turns up...I checked on Amazon for this book and its Book 4 in a "SBC Fighter" series of books, no I didn't make that up. check Amazon they all sound great.


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## Walker (May 27, 2007)

IcemanCometh said:


> Its amazing what research turns up...I checked on Amazon for this book and its Book 4 in a "SBC Fighter" series of books, no I didn't make that up. check Amazon they all sound great.


Even better! :thumb02:


"He's is DEEP trouble! This is a really bad spot for him- a terrible position for him to be in. The ****-plata!"


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## IcemanCometh (Mar 9, 2007)

WOW how a **** joke, how long did that take to come up with...did you ever hear of sarcasm?


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## Walker (May 27, 2007)

IcemanCometh said:


> WOW how a **** joke, how long did that take to come up with...did you ever hear of sarcasm?


Hey man I wasn't referring to you at all- I was just making a joke like all the other book references were. :dunno:


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## IcemanCometh (Mar 9, 2007)

ok man I wasn't sure, my quote and ****-plata threw me for a sec.


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## plazzman (Mar 29, 2007)

hmm..awkwarrdd..


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

"He has a history of trying to finish early Mike. It'll be interesting to see if she can make him go the whole five rounds."


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## Vikingpride (Jan 20, 2008)

wow joe she's really showing some great flexibility that would put BJ penn to shame. 

Mike: "He postures up and looks to pass guard, but he falls back into her guard. He postures up again, but again falls back into guard and again and again and again. Joe what exaclty is this that he's doing?"

Joe: "you gotta be kidding me right mike?"

Mike; "No what's he doing?"

Joe: "wow mike that settle's it i'm taking you to the bunny ranch after the show"

Mike "sounds good partner i love rabbits"


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## SpoKen (Apr 28, 2007)

Vikingpride said:


> wow joe she's really showing some great flexibility that would put BJ penn to shame.
> 
> Mike: "He postures up and looks to pass guard, but he falls back into her guard. He postures up again, but again falls back into guard and again and again and again. Joe what exaclty is this that he's doing?"
> 
> ...


HAHAHAHAHA! :thumb02:

I got some.

Joe: "If he continues at this rate he's going to finish this early"

Mike: "right you are Joe. Looks like some intens-"

Joe: "OH! OH MY GOD!!

Mike: "HE HAS DONE IT!!"

Joe: "WHOOOOOO SAAAAAW THAT COMING?!?!"

Mike: "I think maybe only the winner and a few of his past opponents could have saw this one Joe"

Joe: "Let's check the budweiser replay.. As you can see.. Oooooh! He's got it in deep.. now watch that right there, you can see his OH face. And... BAM! That's it right there. That is DEEP! She looks devastated with the loss"

Mike: "I'm sure she'll remember this night for a long time."

Joe: "She better get ready, after a display like that, she'll have an even harder battle in nine months."

Yeah, I got descriptive lol.


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## Damone (Oct 1, 2006)

*Scene is in the bedroom, where warriors are made*

Guy: Are you ready to face the pain?

Girl: Oh yeah, I'm ready, but I just want to say that jdun11 predicted that it will be a fun night, so I'll break out the dildo nunchucks.

Guy: *Puts on pants* That guy is never right. *Walks out*


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## plazzman (Mar 29, 2007)

"juusstt Bleeeddd!!"


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## Damone (Oct 1, 2006)

"Hello, my name is Jonathan Wiezorek, you called about a threesome? I have a lot of heart, and am a well-rounded pounder. My gas tank is quite good, despite being flabby."


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## plazzman (Mar 29, 2007)

"Agh, shoot, baby I can't make it tonight, but my friend Ruben Villareal will be more than happy to fill in for me."


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## browncow (Jun 14, 2008)

Damone said:


> Then, he shouted "IT'S ALL OVER!!!!" after splooging on her chest.


Well she did lock in that _anaconda choke _pretty tight.:wink03:

I wonder if this novel is just a thinly-veiled biographical account of a fling between the author and Mike "Quick" Swick.


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## zDerek (Oct 24, 2007)

I bet Mazzagatti makes another early stoppage.


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