# Funniest quotes in MMA



## daitrong (May 27, 2007)

I'm not sure if this been posted, but i found it halarious

Ultimate MMA Videos

Top 10 Funniest MMA Quotes

Hey everyone I felt like writing something today and figured this might be a good subject. This whole list could be Rampage quotes but Im only gonna put 2 of my favorites, so I can let some other people have some quote glory. *Warning* Some explicit language!

10. Mauro Ranallo Talking about Minotauro- "He's takin an unbelievable amount of punishment over the years, but the question is will he pay the price later on in life"- This always gets a laugh out of me because he has said it numorous times and whoever the other announcers are, they become totally silent because its obviously not appropriate to say.

9. Wanderlei Silva- "I want to f*ck Chuck"- Those english classes werent going well apparently, as Wandy was trying to say I want to fight Chuck.

8. Rampage- "Is that Heath's nut hangin out"- Quinton was announcing the second fight between Nogueira and Heath Herring, when he noticed how short Heath's shorts were.

7. Ken Shamrock- "I will beat you into a living death"- Ken's quotes could have their own article too.

6. Forrest Griffin- "He did exactly what I wanted him to do and he knocked me the **** out"- Forrest after getting KTFO by Keith Jardine.

5. Anything that comes out of Bill Goldberg's Mouth- Funny in a sad way.

4. Bas Rutten- "Maybe he smokes"- Basito responding to Rampage talking about Fujita's yellow teeth after being choked out by Fedor.

3. Tim Sylvia- "Bring on Fedor"- Funny because if that fight were to happen he'd probably be out cold or submitted in the first round.

2. Stephen Quadros- "The touching of gloves may be the only punch Fujita lands"- Before the Fedor/Fujita fight, little did he know what would transpire.

1. Rampage- "You can make a mistake and get caught in a submission, but Chuck made a mistake and he got caught in an ass whoopin'."- Quinton after knocking out Liddell.


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## Lotus (Jul 4, 2007)

those are great quotes but the best quotes are from bas's time in pride for those who havn't visited his site imma post some of em

“Stephen Quadros: What position is that, Bas? 
Bas Rutten: Yay, the head-between the-thighs-position, 
usually used for another act. The black-widow technique! 
Stephen Quadros: I must say I have had it done to me a 
few times.. 
Bas Rutten: hehehe!”

“Stephen Quadros: I am sure he has a few tricks up his 
sleeve. 
Bas Rutten: He's not wearing any sleeves. 
Stephen Quadros: Don't even start, Bas.”

“Stephen Quadros: They tell me getting kicked by Mo 
Smith is like getting hit by a baseball bat at 85 mph. 
Bas Rutten: No. I don't think so.” 

“Stephen Quadros: Hmmm, I wonder what happened? 
Bas Rutten: I think he must have hit him with the Dim 
Mak. He shoved his nose into his brain I think.” 

“Bas Rutten: He keeps on making those weird sounds. 
Stephen Quadros: Yeah I think he's trying to 
impersonate Flipper the seal.” 

“Stephen Quadros: Frye's getting the standing 8-Count
here, Bas 
Bas Rutten: Why's he getting the standing 8-Count? 
Stephen Quadros: Well, he's getting his ass kicked.”

“Stephan Quadros: It looks like a few of Silva's knees got 
through there to Matsui's nose. 
Bas Rutten: Either that or he has really high blood 
pressure.”


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## Saiyan3s (Oct 5, 2007)

Rampage "My hand got beat up, Dan Henderson beat up my fist with his face"

Josh Kos "I will KO St-Pierre 2mins into the 1st rnd"

The way St-Pierre talks.


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## 70seven (Mar 5, 2007)

Unholy FD3S said:


> the guy from TUF 6
> 
> something about passing out and dreaming about midget hookers and chinese pimps made me bust out laughing


That was "Fat hookers and Latino midgets".

Favorite quote: Matt Sera "I'm gonna shock the world" funny because everybody was ready to laugh in his face, but Matt got the last laugh.


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## mma17 (Jun 4, 2007)

Unholy FD3S said:


> the guy from TUF 6
> 
> something about passing out and dreaming about midget hookers and chinese pimps made me bust out laughing


ya that was dorian, the black guy


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## mma17 (Jun 4, 2007)

Saiyan3s said:


> The way St-Pierre talks.


I do impressions of George St. Pierre daily.


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## Terry77 (Jan 5, 2007)

"Half of this game is 90% mental" - Tim Sylvia


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## Emericanaddict (Dec 31, 2006)

Mike Goldie responding to Rogan: Looks like Tito is taking a Book out of Chuck's chapter"...

I always thought that one during Liddell Vs Ortiz two was hillarious.

Also adding 

"Now remember kids Rampage dont get drunk but he gets REALLY BUZZED!"-Quinton Jackson after the Eastman fight if I remember right.


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## Mr. Mayhem (May 6, 2007)

"I knew i hurt him, because when I hit him with my elbow, he went 'arrghh.' "

"Nobody can handle my rythym."

Both by GSP


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## B-Real (Oct 1, 2006)

*Kaz: "I am very con-fi-dent I can beat Wan-der-lei."
Wand: (Translated) "I think every fighter should be confident but he is wrong ~ I'm going to knock him out."
Kaz: Tell Wanderlei.... Shut the f-ck up!"*


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## Mr. Mayhem (May 6, 2007)

"Training is mental and physical"

Cro Crop


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## Pendulum_Sweep (Oct 26, 2007)

Mr. Mayhem said:


> "I knew i hurt him, because when I hit him with my elbow, he went 'arrghh.' "
> 
> "Nobody can handle my rythym."
> 
> Both by GSP


No. It's "Nobody can 'andle my riddum"

You gotta say it right.


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## scepticILL (Mar 29, 2007)

Mr. Mayhem said:


> "Training is mental and physical"
> 
> Cro Crop


What?



Terry77 said:


> "Half of this game is 90% mental" - Tim Sylvia


HAHAHAHAHAHA


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## Mr. Mayhem (May 6, 2007)

"Everybody underestimates the kick to the groin"

Bas Rutten on self defense


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## Terry77 (Jan 5, 2007)

YouTube - Phil Baroni "The Rockstar"
YouTube - When Phil "The New York Bad-Ass" Baroni Speaks.. You Listen!
Video K1 Dynamite Sucked Balls - k1, dynamite, usa, crap, booooo - Dailymotion Share Your Videos


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## bbjd7 (Apr 9, 2007)

"He was stuffing his takedown attempts in the first and second round until he shot his load" Randy Couture UFC 65 during GSP vs Hughes 2 about BJ Penn vs Matt Hughes 2 and TDD against Hughes.

Who saw that quote coming from Couture of all people.


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## WaCkO92 (Apr 20, 2007)

i vote for this quote which i found in lotus's sig

Bas: He has a black belt in BJJ
Quadros: Yes, well many of the fighters have a black belt
Rutten: Yes but in BJJ you cant
buy your belt like in say Tae Kwon Do
Quadros: Do you have any belts?
Rutten: I have a brown belt in Tae Kwon Do


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## e-thug (Jan 18, 2007)

Here are a few I have:

Leben b4 his fight wit Silva.


> "Silva should just go back to Japan where the competition is a lot easier"



After Barnett beat Aleks: fight with Aleks.


> "Sorry, but I just got punched in the head by a giant russian with a tatoo of a Grim Reaper holding a baby"


Baroni.


> "I'm gonna knock his jaw out into the crowd. Once the show is over, find me, and I'll sign that ***** for ya"


Stephan Bonnar: 



> I'm going to give Keith Jardine Hell but I don't think he'll mind because he sort of looks like Satan.



Chuck Liddell.


> "I don't swing to knock people out, I just swing because I know I'm going to knock them out."



Sakuraba.


> "I have gotten heavier and it is effecting the fuel consumption of my car."


Dan Henderson.


> "Man i hate waking up with a dead hooker"


And of course Bas Rutten!



> "My testosterone level was that of 24 full grown men, they had to send it around to three different laboratories to make sure the doctor wasn't joking."


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## Terry77 (Jan 5, 2007)

When/where did Henderson say the dead hooker quote? It pops up everywhere


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## Mr. Mayhem (May 6, 2007)

"I just want his sunglasses"

Jerome LeBanner


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## IronMan (May 15, 2006)

Rampage and Ken Shamrock are masters of the quotable. My personal favorite from Rampage:

"When I be losing I be gettig my ass whupped, but when I be winning I be doing the ass whupping."

Gotta love ebonics.


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## Mr. Mayhem (May 6, 2007)

IronMan said:


> Rampage and Ken Shamrock are masters of the quotable. My personal favorite from Rampage:
> 
> "When I be losing I be gettig my ass whupped, but when I be winning I be doing the ass whupping."
> 
> Gotta love ebonics.


:laugh:

Most of Rampage's quotes have to do with ass whupping


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## Mc19 (Jul 6, 2006)

Terry77 said:


> YouTube - Phil Baroni "The Rockstar"
> YouTube - When Phil "The New York Bad-Ass" Baroni Speaks.. You Listen!
> Video K1 Dynamite Sucked Balls - k1, dynamite, usa, crap, booooo - Dailymotion Share Your Videos


 Baroni the rockstar!! that was ******* great man! His car was jokes, the windows held up with tape!lololol


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## The 23 Enigma (Feb 25, 2007)

The Baroni/Rockstar segment was fantastic. I was laughing my balls off.


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## Mc19 (Jul 6, 2006)

The 23 Enigma said:


> The Baroni/Rockstar segment was fantastic. I was laughing my balls off.


 haha, me too, because i have the same car! lol


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## fullcontact (Sep 16, 2006)

"He beat me fair and square, sorry I mean, fairly squarely.."

"I wuz not imbressed by your berformance"

 

I love GSP' french


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## hommage1985 (Apr 22, 2007)

IronMan said:


> Rampage and Ken Shamrock are masters of the quotable. My personal favorite from Rampage:
> 
> "When I be losing I be gettig my ass whupped, but when I be winning I be doing the ass whupping."
> 
> Gotta love ebonics.


Rampage is the funniest guy in MMA by far. I could listen to him talk all day.


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## SHIN2DADOME (Nov 20, 2006)

hommage1985 said:


> Rampage is the funniest guy in MMA by far. I could listen to him talk all day.


I agree I remeber watching a pride event were Mauro Ranallo reffered to Quinton as the colour commentator and Quinton quickly corrected him and told him hes is the commentator with the colour. He always picked on Mauro even telling him he was small in a certain area:laugh:


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## plazzman (Mar 29, 2007)

WL2FU had a quote by Charles Bennett. that was the best by far. Something about fighting anyone


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

"what is my style? my style is kick your ass style" rampage

"I aren't being a dick'ead!" ross pointon

but the ribbon goes to gsp, if only b/c i can imitate a french-canadian accent fairly well. Not that it's hard. If you say other fighters' awesome quotes in a GSP accent it can brovide hour of entertainMENT bien sur


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## Zender (Dec 15, 2006)

lol Great thread!

Dana White "you need to go give them the f***in 'come to Jesus' meeting"
That was up there with the best of them.


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

I have been trying to figure out the above avatar for months.idk what it is, but it's awesome.

I forgot to put Tito "That's how I make 205, baby" when getting ripped on about his chicken legs lmfao.


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## FromHereOn (Sep 4, 2006)

Reference my sig for my favorite quote.


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## Lynch (Sep 7, 2007)

Cro-Cop after getting kneed in the balls.

"I'm getting too old for this shit."


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## Zender (Dec 15, 2006)

swpthleg said:


> I have been trying to figure out the above avatar for months.idk what it is, but it's awesome.
> 
> I forgot to put Tito "That's how I make 205, baby" when getting ripped on about his chicken legs lmfao.


That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent's you ever set eyes on!

Distant relative's of a killer rabbit once caught on film by the Monty Python team, such a tragic event. Many men lost their lives that day.


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## simtom (Oct 23, 2007)

Ken:

"I'm gonna knock your hair black !"



"You look good in that suit man coz that's all you're gonna be doing is wearing a suit!"


"i'm gonna spank your ass !!"


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## Pendulum_Sweep (Oct 26, 2007)

simtom said:


> Ken:
> 
> "I'm gonna knock your hair black !"
> 
> ...



Oh my god, he really does suck at smack talk.


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## rufio.e0 (Jul 5, 2007)

Rampage (to Wanderlei before the fight):Me Amy, good gorilla! *beats his chest* You know what it feel like to get yo ass whooped by a black man? That shit hurt. 

Stephen Quadros: where do you see yourself in 2 years?
Rampage: Lets see right now im 23, so in 2 years I see myself at 25

Interviewer: What's something that you would like to apologize for?
Alexander Otsuka: I crapped my pants when I was 26 years old. 

Stephen Quadros: How long have you had that mustache?
Don Frye: Since I was 5. I got it from my mom's side of the family. She's not a pretty woman. 

Stephen Quadros: Would you be concerned about Sateke's invisible kick?
Quinton Jackson: I guess so, shit, cuz if it's invisible, I cant see the motherf***er. 

Interviewer: Do you think long hair is coming back in style?
Dan Henderson: Are you making fun of me? 
Interviewer: No

Bas Rutten: I do not know what you mean, 'Something blue'
Maurice Smith: It must be an American thing then, I won't even try to explain it. 

Bas Rutten: Hey Ref! Don't look at me! Pay attention to the fight!

Sakuraba (to a guy he just beat): You should study Pokemon to get stronger


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## ID06 (Dec 31, 2006)

plazzman said:


> WL2FU had a quote by Charles Bennett. that was the best by far. Something about fighting anyone


"I fight 'em all, men, women, children, retarded people. If you hit me we gonna fight."


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## Cartheron (Sep 5, 2007)

rufio.e0 said:


> Sakuraba (to a guy he just beat): You should study Pokemon to get stronger


lmfao

Gotta love Sakuraba.


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## plazzman (Mar 29, 2007)

rufio.e0 said:


> Rampage (to Wanderlei before the fight):Me Amy, good gorilla! *beats his chest* You know what it feel like to get yo ass whooped by a black man? That shit hurt.
> 
> Stephen Quadros: where do you see yourself in 2 years?
> Rampage: Lets see right now im 23, so in 2 years I see myself at 25
> ...





Iron Daisy06 said:


> "I fight 'em all, men, women, children, retarded people. If you hit me we gonna fight."


Oh man these are great


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## Organik (Aug 28, 2006)

Chris Leban - "Ill Come In The Octagon Smelling Like Booze And Dirty Strippers And Ill Still Put The Stomp On Kids"


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## Pendulum_Sweep (Oct 26, 2007)

Anything that comes out of Shonie Carter's mouth on a regular basis is pretty laugh worthy:

-"So I come in cool as a cucumber on a iceberg in the antarctic."

(very dramatically)
-"I've traveled and I've fought as you all know... it doesn't make sense to reconquer a land that you've already conquered, don't beat the peasants, beat the king of another land."


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