# The 6 People Who Ruin A UFC PPV Party



## tyler90wm (Oct 8, 2008)

> Put two men in a steel cage and let them destroy each other. In doing so, you’ll get one of the fastest growing sports in the world today. What was once considered barbaric and savage is now setting trends faster then you can say “you got knocked the **** out.”
> 
> Unfortunately when it comes to watching this sport via pay-per-view, you’ll need to prepare yourself for the douchebaggery of spectators that surround you.
> 
> ...


Link: http://regretfulmorning.com/2009/09/the-6-people-who-ruin-a-ufc-ppv-party/


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## All_In (Aug 23, 2007)

:laugh: spot on spot on.


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## NikosCC (May 16, 2007)

Hahahh this is dead on haha i am sad to say but i am the Guy who seen every event, My brother is the Commentator one..


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## The Horticulturist (Feb 16, 2009)

I'm the self proclaimed BJJ Expert. I've been training it for less than 2 years, but I've just been trying to add it to my Judo, so I'm not a total n00b.

But yeah, I'm the "expert" because I make my friends think I can sub them in 5 seconds, when really they are way bigger than me, and it isn't so easy.


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## dario03 (Oct 8, 2008)

NikosCC said:


> Hahahh this is dead on haha i am sad to say but i am the Guy who seen every event, My brother is the Commentator one..


I don't bring it up when watching events (since who cares) and I don't wear affliction t-shirts but I am a watching it from the beginning even though I was about 9 years old guy. Well actually UFC3 was the first one I saw, and I haven't seen them all. My brother is 11.5 years older than me so I had easy access to UFC.


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## ThirstForBLOOD (Jul 7, 2009)

I'm the guy who's seen every UFC event no doubt


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## CornbreadBB (Jul 31, 2008)

I is the commentator....and the one that drinks no matter what the outcome... 

They forgot one more....teh dude on the forum that keeps on commenting on threads that are years old.


:thumb02:


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

I'm the girl who doesn't ask retarded questions, because I edumacate myself on MMAF.


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## lagmonkey (Apr 23, 2008)

I don't recall telling anyone they could use my photo on this board! That's it ... it's go time!


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## jennathebenda (Jul 24, 2009)

Im the girl who asks dumb questions/guy who wants to fight.


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## All_In (Aug 23, 2007)

On a side note, look how small the guy's arms are. If ever there was a case for mandatory vasectomies, he's it.


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## Toxie (Mar 18, 2007)

swpthleg said:


> I'm the girl who doesn't ask retarded questions, because I edumacate myself on MMAF.


same here.. but i'm also the one who likes to make those self proclaimed 'been there since the beginning' guys look stupid, because most really are not so knowledgeable and i set traps that they fall into and then end up looking like idiots :thumb02:

oh the best is when i'm at the bar (i usually go with a gf of mine who is just as knowledgeable as myself) and we always get super into it and end up having deep conversations and there are always these cocky guys who come up to us and try to pick us up by being playfully condescendent (something like 'oh you girls like mma eh?' and in their head they think 'yeah right') and we always turn it around and they end up a) running away with their tail between their legs or b) moving on to another target (which invariably will be one of the UFC whores, D.P knows what i'm talking about )


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## Baby Jay D. (Apr 25, 2008)

lol, at one time or another I've been all of them (except for the girl asking stupid Q's).


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## mmafreak93 (Aug 17, 2009)

lol ik the self jiu jitsu expert its my neighbor hes such a douche


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## k3232x (Sep 17, 2008)

I'm the Emotional Super Fan. Escpecailly after the Nog/Mir fight.


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## amoosenamedhank (Sep 2, 2009)

I just like to jump up and down whether the fight is going the way I want it to or not... :happy03:


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## TheFNman (Jun 8, 2009)

:angry04: Suddenly I feel very very OLD. I was 16 when the first UFC came out. I was given a VHS tape (This was before DVD's if your wondering) and was instantly hooked. I am seen every UFC / commentary guy. Also you forgot dude who pumps up likes to fight guy. Dude you gonna let him talk to you like that? Man if you don't do something your nothing but a punk! Dude you need to turn in your Man card cause he just basically b**** slapped you.


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## The Horticulturist (Feb 16, 2009)

Toxie said:


> b) moving on to another target (which invariably will be one of the UFC whores, D.P knows what i'm talking about )


Nothin' wrong with easy-target whores on a Saturday night.


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## Seperator88 (Jul 12, 2009)

man i love when people go "ohhhh" everytime a good shot lands, so i wait until like a mediocre leg kick that maybe gets checked and i go "ohhhhhh!!!" and put my fist up to my mouth, the expression that just mean, DAMNNN! and everyone looks at me, people with a sense of humor laugh


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## Flukypuncher (Aug 2, 2008)

k3232x said:


> I'm the Emotional Super Fan. Escpecailly after the Nog/Mir fight.


I wonder what kind of heartless mofo didn't cry after (and even during ) this fight .


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## Toxie (Mar 18, 2007)

SuicideJohnson said:


> Nothin' wrong with easy-target whores on a Saturday night.


not at all.. :thumb02: that way i get my peace




MAH PAGE!!


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## DAMURDOC (May 27, 2007)

I'm the emotional one


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## Fieos (Mar 26, 2007)

We've missed at least one...

THE 'ONLY HERE BECAUSE MY FRIENDS AND BEER ARE HERE' GUY:

This guy thinks that MMA is stupid and makes enough sexual references in regard to BJJ that you think you he might offer to give you a BJ. He pointedly refers to MMA as 'human cock fighting' but then reiterates that he's here because his friends are and he's "cool with whatever". He is the guy that goes home and rubs one off while thinking about a fighter he saw fight in the PPV. He also openly makes fun of gay people as though he is purposefully trying to exclude himself from that demographic.


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## TraMaI (Dec 10, 2007)

They used Douche Nozzle! AWESOME!


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## AceFranklin88 (Apr 21, 2007)

Hahahaha guilty of being the emotional one and the commentator.


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## Soakked (Feb 5, 2007)

> The “I’ve been watching UFC since it started” Guy – When watching a UFC pay-per-view you’re bound to run into at least one of these fellows. They’ll remind you more than once how they’ve been watching cage matches long before they became trendy. What they don’t know is that the UFC started in 1993.


I'm this, however being that I am turning 31 on 9/10 I can actually back it up :thumb02:



Fieos said:


> We've missed at least one...
> 
> THE 'ONLY HERE BECAUSE MY FRIENDS AND BEER ARE HERE' GUY:
> 
> This guy thinks that MMA is stupid and makes enough sexual references in regard to BJJ that you think you he might offer to give you a BJ. He pointedly refers to MMA as 'human cock fighting' but then reiterates that he's here because his friends are and he's "cool with whatever". He is the guy that goes home and rubs one off while thinking about a fighter he saw fight in the PPV. He also openly makes fun of gay people as though he is purposefully trying to exclude himself from that demographic.


You forgot that after a few drinks they reminice(sp?) about some imaginary HS wrestlings days and top it off with a "Ya wanna wrestle, I can show you a couple of moves.."


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## looney liam (Jun 22, 2007)

im the guy who will tell you every single known fact about the current fighters. who they beat, how they won, what style their known for, where they grew up etc. all the meanwhile my mates are telling me to stfu so they can just enjoy the fights.

its tough being the only guy who actually knows a thing or two about the sport, i feel the need to educate these people.


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

TheFNman said:


> :angry04: Suddenly I feel very very OLD. I was 16 when the first UFC came out. I was given a VHS tape (This was before DVD's if your wondering) and was instantly hooked. I am seen every UFC / commentary guy. Also you forgot dude who pumps up likes to fight guy. Dude you gonna let him talk to you like that? Man if you don't do something your nothing but a punk! Dude you need to turn in your Man card cause he just basically b**** slapped you.


Old HOLLA!


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## shatterproof (Jul 16, 2008)

#1 UFC party ruiner... the coked out, smoked out bleach blond bitch who wont stop talking over the comentary and really thinks you give a shit about her opinion on (insert topic). :bored01:

she talks non-stop, orders a round of shitty sugary shots and the only contibution she makes to the topic at hand is how they look 'gay' rolling around or whom she thinks is hot. Makes you wanna adopt the Sean Connery standard and smack-a-ho.


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

Just tell her to shut her whore mouth while the men are talking.:thumb02:

I was the emotional one after Gonzaga knocked CC out, but I think a lot of people were including Herb Dean ("OMG HE'S DEAD!!!")


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## All_In (Aug 23, 2007)

shatterproof said:


> #1 UFC party ruiner... the coked out, smoked out bleach blond bitch who wont stop talking over the comentary and really thinks you give a shit about her opinion on (insert topic). :bored01:
> 
> she talks non-stop, orders a round of shitty sugary shots and the only contibution she makes to the topic at hand is how they look 'gay' rolling around or whom she thinks is hot. Makes you wanna adopt the Sean Connery standard and smack-a-ho.


Just when I thought that guy couldn't get any f*$kin cooler...


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## CornbreadBB (Jul 31, 2008)

Shut up Barbara Walters....you're lucky he didn't smack you at this point!

By the way love stupid ******* girls.


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

I knew Sean Connery was the coolest man alive ever since I found out he slept with Alex Trebek's mother.

I feel a thread coming on.


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## lagmonkey (Apr 23, 2008)

TheFNman said:


> :angry04: Suddenly I feel very very OLD. I was 16 when the first UFC came out. I was given a VHS tape (This was before DVD's if your wondering) and was instantly hooked.


We are in the same boat partner. I was in my early 20s and stationed in Okinawa when the first UFC tapes started making the rounds. 

Good times ...


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## Seperator88 (Jul 12, 2009)

swpthleg said:


> I knew Sean Connery was the coolest man alive ever since I found out he slept with Alex Trebek's mother.
> 
> I feel a thread coming on.


ahaha oh shit! yeaaa!

A. Trebek "A dog makes this noise"

S. Connery "Ruff! just the way your mother likes it Trebek!"


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## OsborneMcCarty (Aug 26, 2008)

Jared, Matt and myself talk way too much during MMA events.

Just the mention of a fighter or a previous event gets us started down a rabbit hole until someone gets a good shot in and we all shutup.


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## CornbreadBB (Jul 31, 2008)

OsborneMcCarty said:


> Jared, Matt and myself talk way too much during MMA events.
> 
> Just the mention of a fighter or a previous event gets us started down a rabbit hole until someone gets a good shot in and we all shutup.


Who the **** is Jared and Matt?!!!?! Sorry, ignore this, drunk.


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## A1yola06 (Jan 5, 2007)

I'm only an emotional super fan when WAND is fighting.


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## dudeabides (Sep 30, 2008)

I only say I've seen every UFC and Pride FC fight because of the internet, not because of being a super prognosticating kid, that would be way cooler but I'd have forgotten more. :thumbsup:


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## OsborneMcCarty (Aug 26, 2008)

A1yola06 said:


> I'm only an emotional super fan when WAND is fighting.


Must have been a rough few years for you huh? (hands A1yola06 a tissue)


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## The505Butcher (Jul 30, 2009)

I hate the guy that says things to the fighter like he can actually hear him.

"OH MY GAWD!!! JUST PUNCH HIS FACE!!! ITS REALLY JUST RIGHT THERE!!!"
"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST CHOKE HIM OUT!!! YOU GOT THE POSITION NOW PLACE YOUR ARM AROUND HIS NECK AND SQUEEZE!!!"
WATCH FOR THAT LEFT JAB!!! IT KEEPS HITTING YOU IN THE FACE AND IS OPENING UP THAT CUT!!!"
"DUCK UNDER THAT RIGHT HOOK AND BRING AN UPPERCUT TO HIS CHIN!!!!"

Hate that guy and often feel like becoming the guy that fights after the event.


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## Hammerlock2.0 (Jun 17, 2009)

I'm probably the play-by-play guy, but I only call big stuff like takedowns, repeated leg kicks and such.


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## jcal (Oct 15, 2006)

I like to call things before Rogan does and then look at my girlfriend (who couldnt care less) and tell her "see I told you so! I should be the announcer. I dont watch fights with friends anymore, the last time I did my buddy drank 2 bottles of wine, got right in front of the TV and said " did I ever tell you I was a great wrestler in Jr. HS?" and proceeded to try to wrestle me while I was sitting down! lol,hes 40! He passed out on my floor before the main event.


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

Bad things happen when 40-year-olds decide they want to grapple.

Unless they're Randy, of course.


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