# You know you're too into MMA when:



## MooJuice (Dec 12, 2008)

- You cant resist locking up the head and arm triangle chock when you're cuddling in bed with your girl

- You've believed in aliens ever since you watched fedor fight

- You think miguel torres' mullet looks awesome

- You play around and wrestle your 10 year old nephew, and cant resist securing the full mount

- You hear someone refer to MMA the sport as "UFC" and want to punch them in the throat

- Just thinking of the name 'Corey Hill' makes you cringe

- You make sure when you're doin your girl that you dont leave yourself open to a triangle

*Let's see how long we can make this list, MMA-Forum *


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## SimplyNate (May 27, 2007)

-You have a dream that you were on TUF with no fight experience

-You tried to armbar your pet dog

-You think it's a good idea to grow facial hair like Keith Jardine

-You hear Mike Goldberg's voice as you finish having sex "It's alllll over!"

-You high leg kicked a 11 year old wearing a tap out shirt that was talking shit

-You actually appreciate a good ground game and then proceed to choke out your friend that keeps ragging on it

-You begin to realize you are in better shape than BJ Penn

-Your dream of having a sword tatoo down your chest has been shattered

-You hallucinate that Gina Carano floats into your bedroom through an open window


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## Kimura_Korey (Apr 28, 2009)

-You are constantly finding yourself practicing BJJ on your couch pillows and choking them out.

-You can't go a day without looking something up on the internet MMA related.

-You are constantly critiquing people who wear MMA attire.

-You play UFC Undisputed 2009 Demo till your hands bleed/thumbs sore and all you can think about is Goldberg and Rogan talking about John Hackleman and ChuteBox training. 

-You still are finding yourself discussing "Greasegate".

-Everytime a PPV comes around you throw a party that is "SuperBowl Esque" with hor'dourves and a keg of beer.

-When you patiently wait at your computer days leading up to a fight to catch a Dana White video blog.

-You can only masterbate to chicks with five ounce gloves on specifically Gina Carano or any ring girl for that matter.


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## IronMan (May 15, 2006)

I love these threads.



MooJuice said:


> - You hear someone refer to MMA the sport as "UFC" and want to punch them in the throat


I feel this way all the time.

Some contributions:

- You're watching a porno and you wonder why he doesn't pass the guard.

- You yell out Gina Carano's name during sex with your girlfriend (or boyfriend).

- You think GSP's accent is sexy.

- You refer to someone getting owned as "getting Fedor'd."

- You refer to goatees as either "Jardine's" or "Abbott's," depending on their length and color.

- You want to meet Rachel Leah so she'll show you fighters' houses.

- You sometimes dream of shining Dana White's head.

- You watch boxing and get annoyed when they don't throw knees in the clinch.

- You have an internal debate about whether you should cover someone's eyes or choke them out while you sneak up on them.

- You imagine Bas Rutten and Stephen Quadros narrating your sexual encounters.


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## MooJuice (Dec 12, 2008)

i have laughed out loud 4 times in this thread already. Keep em coming.

- You get super exited when you realise you are the exact same weight and dimensions as miguel torres

- You've practically learnt fluent japanese from watching so many Pride and K-1 shows.

- Just thinking of bas rutten makes you smile

- You think you could take on that huge guy at the bar, because he smokes and would "gas early in the second". When you wake up you realise he flattened you before you even got your hands up. (True story)

- You're looking forward to may 23rd more than your own birthday

- You get audibly exasperated every time you see a brand new member on MMAF make a p4p thread


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## The Horticulturist (Feb 16, 2009)

when you put a heelhook on your girlfriend to wake her up/ or when you are finished 69ing.


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## CornbreadBB (Jul 31, 2008)

Whenever somebody mentions the word liver, your heart breaks because Bas isn't gay

You get a boner when somebody passes guard.

You get a boner when somebody pulls guard.

When you see tall people, you wonder what their reach is.

When you go to Montreal, you ask everybody there if they know who GSP is because you "were imbressed with their berformance."

You give girls rear naked chokes and tell them it will all be over soon.

When you see fights in person, you announce them like you're a color commentator.


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## rickrolled (Feb 3, 2009)

- When you get excited when you hear about an axe murderer

- you start to wonder whether your high school maths teacher could beat anderson silva

- you know about a guy who legally changed his name to warhammer

- you hope each morning your woken up by bruce buffer saying ITSSSSS TIMMEEEEE

- you get extremely annoyed when people say rua instead of hua

- And finally when you get frustrated from explaining to all the newbs that bruce lee would not destroy everyone in the ufc with his one inch punch

Note: Nice thread by the way


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## Kimura_Korey (Apr 28, 2009)

-You find yourself announcing fights in a Bruce Buffer voice out of nowhere.

-You act and talk like Bruce Buffer while talking to your friends in mid-conversation.

-You get seriously nervous or scared for your favorite fighters before and during a fight.

-You are really freaking out before you have to watch 2 of your favorite fighters fight each other because you want neither to lose.

-You put on 5 oz. gloves and your hands feel much lighter.

-When people are yelling at you at work and you just look at them and smile all while thinking of all the different ways you could choke them out. 

-When you realize you weigh the same as Sean Sherk, Donald Cerrone, and Diego Sanchez and you realize you would never stand a chance.

Pretty much everything that I have mentioned either happened to me or I am guilty of doing it.


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## JayMJjinks (Feb 24, 2007)

You're constantly "sizing up" random people you don't even know and visualizing how a fight would go down between the two of you.


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## D.P. (Oct 8, 2008)

SuicideJohnson said:


> when you put a heelhook on your girlfriend to wake her up/ or when you are finished 69ing.


I've done this.



JayMJjinks said:


> You're constantly "sizing up" random people you don't even know and visualizing how a fight would go down between the two of you.


And this.

Awesome thread, keep em coming.


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## MLD (Oct 15, 2006)

*You have to remind yourself that in a real fight you can use groin strikes, hits to the back of the head, and kicks on a downed opponent.

*You introduce people using the Buffer Spin Move

*You ask for a PPV for your Birthday (May 23 please)

*When someone say's "He got Franklined" you know what they mean.

*You always had doubts about Kimbo Slice's MMA game.

*You remember a time when Ken Shamrock was a valuable component to the MMA world.

*You "cut weight" instead of diet.

*One of the standards by which you measure your cardio is in terms of rounds.

These are just some of the symptoms...


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## MooJuice (Dec 12, 2008)

> *You introduce people using the Buffer Spin Move





> -You hear Mike Goldberg's voice as you finish having sex "It's alllll over!"





> - you hope each morning your woken up by bruce buffer saying ITSSSSS TIMMEEEEE



massive belly laughs to be had here. solid gold guys  keep it up



- You get tingles up and down your spine when you watch the old pride entrances and staredowns

- You just stare incredulously when somebody does't know the WEC

- You shadow box when you're bored even though you couldn't hit steven hawkings

- You watch an old episode of Fear Factor and keep waiting for rogan to start explaining leg kicks

- You have never trained properly but believe you'd do ok versus a gracie

- You don't have any friends into MMA so you order $50 PPVs for yourself

- You can't conceive how MMA isn't the largest sport in the world yet

- Every time you hear someone say 'second to none' you think of joe rogan

- You post on MMAF


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## hubert (Sep 24, 2006)

You've changed the way you eat because you're thinking of making weight.

You still play other sports but now consider it a form of conditioning.

You pretend you're in the prefight weigh-ins in front of the bathroom mirror.


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## joppp (Apr 21, 2007)

I dreamt that I fought in the UFC, almost got KO'd but eventually won by kneebar. Plus, I was outside of my body while doing it so I had to make all the moves in the air for me in the octagon to make them (wtf!?)


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## IronMan (May 15, 2006)

joppp said:


> I dreamt that I fought in the UFC, almost got KO'd but eventually won by kneebar. Plus, I was outside of my body while doing it so I had to make all the moves in the air for me in the octagon to make them (wtf!?)


I had a dream that I fought Jesus for the UFC bantamweight title (apparently, this was in the future, when the UFC and WEC have blended together). He defeated Miguel Torres to win the belt, and had god (beard and all) and the holy spirit (who, for some reason, looks like Fedor) in his corner.

I took a beating in round one and two, but caught him with a big right hand in the third, got on top, and put him in a crucifix to get the tapout.

You know you're weird when your dreams combine MMA, explicit and subtle forms of blasphemy and DMX's "Ain't No Sunshine" as my walkout music (which also played after I won, like the WWE).


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## Xerxes (Aug 14, 2008)

When you post in this thread at 5 am.


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## Bradysupafan (Oct 26, 2008)

When your searching the internet for sig photos of men who are mostly nude.


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## _RIVAL_ (Mar 7, 2008)

-when arguing with your girlfriend about taking out the trash you fake a takedown and go for a flying armbar

-you pull your punching bag off of the ceiling practicing your MT clinch on it

-you can't wait for an idiot to confront you at any moment so that you can viciously submit him

-you make your girlfriend have staredowns with you

-you make everyone who comes into your home watch recorded MMA fights....all the time

-during missionary sex you pass guard and lock in an armbar

-you don't watch MMA Fights, you "study" MMA Fights 

-you've put at least one dog to sleep via rear naked choke


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## smokelaw1 (Aug 3, 2007)

* When your DOG knows which submission moves you are going for and reacts accordingly. (I guess that also means your ground game needs work

* When your wife tells you she needs to lose 4 pounds and you recommend cardio and a sweat suit, not a diet (or more intelligently, tell her she's perfect and doesn't need to lose a pound). . 

* WHen the guys at work who ever watch fights ask you if you saw "the fights on last night" which were Unleased, etc, and they say, "you know, the guy with the tattoos," and you know EXACTLY who they are talking about.


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## SpecC (Nov 18, 2007)

1. When you consider Shinya Aoki's tights to be cool.

2. You scream at Pacquiao to throw some knees.


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## Freelancer (Jul 5, 2007)

When you dream of being caught in Gina Carano's triangle.


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## SimplyNate (May 27, 2007)

You time taking a crap around 15 mins with 1 minute breaks throughout.


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## 70seven (Mar 5, 2007)

-Regular people think the screaming pride lady is crazy, you think she's one of the greatest thing to happen to MMA.

-The PRIDE theme gives you shivers and tears at the same time.

-You know what your theme music and nickname would be if you were a fighter.

-BJ Penn accused you of taking steroids.

-When watching a live PPV with friends, they listen to you hyping the next fight instead of Joe and Mike, or the pre fight interviews.

-You got rid of all vaseline in your house, just in case BJ Penn shows up.

-You're sometimes more exited for an undercard fight then the main event.


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## The Horticulturist (Feb 16, 2009)

-You can be sure you are heavy into mma when your gf stops flinching at your pulled elbows from the mount.

this is the best thread. I could never count how many times I've put my girlfriend in heelhooks though seriously, thats where you learn the sickest techniques for tapping out dummies.


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

SpecC said:


> 1. When you consider Shinya Aoki's tights to be cool.
> 
> 2. You scream at Pacquiao to throw some knees.


Aoki's tights ARE cool!

When you are not at all surprised that the magic of a Buffer turn makes a spouse complaining about watching MMA, quit complaining and start enjoying the fight. This happened and it made my f*cking year.


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## HeavyRob (Nov 3, 2008)

MooJuice said:


> - You cant resist locking up the head and arm triangle chock when you're cuddling in bed with your girl
> 
> - You play around and wrestle your 10 year old nephew, and cant resist securing the full mount
> 
> ...


guilty. yup, girlfriend's 7-year-old sister. almost did that yesterday. ::Shudder:: never!


You almost get into a fight with stupid frat boys every fight you watch at a bar. 

You're actually excited when some dbag grinds up on your friends when you're out cuz you might get a chance to try out a sweet move.

The guy behind the bar during fight nights knows you by name and has your drink ready for you (my guy even gave my girl a couple free drinks he invented. I tipped the sh*t out of him too).


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## sk double i (Apr 13, 2007)

These threads never get old



JayMJjinks said:


> You're constantly "sizing up" random people you don't even know and visualizing how a fight would go down between the two of you.


It's disgusting how often I do this walking around, on the subway, waiting on line (any line)...


- when you shadow box everywhere you go

- you plan your months around UFC events.

- you get a hotel room in Philly 4 months before the event, before it was even confirmed.

- you can't go online without checking 3-4 mma sites


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## CornbreadBB (Jul 31, 2008)

70seven said:


> -You got rid of all vaseline in your house, just in case BJ Penn shows up.


That's funny, I make sure I have vaseline in every room for the same reason.....


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## Stewinacoffin55 (May 5, 2009)

-someone went for a high five and you countered with a spinning back fist.
-When listening to music you consider every song a possible interance song.
-you tell your kid an A+ in Geometry is good Octagon controle 
-You think it's still possible to be a Protiege in MMA in your mid-forties
-You've lost your voice watching a paper view
-You've been caught by your girlfriend rolling with another guy with your shirts off and see nothing Gay about it


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## cdtcpl (Mar 9, 2007)

- When people ask you who you think is going to win instead of just naming the fighter you name the pro's and con's of each fighter, give an in depth analsys of how you think the fight will go, and even state your round and finish method expected

- You constantly bitch about the lack of ***** trainers near you which is keeping you from taking Fedor's title

- You are going to see your family for the first time in a couple of years and you are trying to figure out how to get away from them and watch the PPV (actually happening to me, need to watch on May 23rd!)

- Your wife/gf buys you UFC tickets for your birthday and you cry, but show no emotion when watching your wedding video

- When you and your wife discuss children you start talking about the order you want to introduce them into martial arts instead of where you hope they go to college (pissed my wife off a few times with this, lol. "Ok, so he will start with MT, then move to BJJ so he is ready for wrestling when he gets to middle school, etc")

- You know which song UFC fighters actually come out to vs what they play on UFC replay's on Spike


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## MLD (Oct 15, 2006)

Stewinacoffin55 said:


> -someone went for a high five and you countered with a spinning back fist.
> -When listening to music you consider every song a possible interance song.
> -you tell your kid an A+ in Geometry is good Octagon controle
> -You think it's still possible to be a Protiege in MMA in your mid-forties
> ...


These were funny ones.

How about this one:
You're undecided about who you'd rather get the mount on, BJ Penn or Rachel Leah.


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## SimplyNate (May 27, 2007)

I think you might be the only one that is undecided lol.


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## MLD (Oct 15, 2006)

SimplyNate said:


> I think you might be the only one that is undecided lol.


I wondered if that might be the case.


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## Bradysupafan (Oct 26, 2008)

When you start questioning your own sexuality


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## The Horticulturist (Feb 16, 2009)

I'm never satisfied in my bed time weigh-in unless I'm maxed out at Lightweight(155-156lbs) 

I've always been like this even at 145 and 170.


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## MooJuice (Dec 12, 2008)

- Whenever you hug someone you make sure you get the double underhooks

- You walk around with your chin tucked

- When someone approaches you, you circle to the left

- You dont shake hands, you touch gloves

- You get tackled in a footy game and pull guard

- You can't play soccer without leg kicking people

- Your mate punches you in the arm and you counter with an overhand right


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## Evil Ira (Feb 9, 2009)

- You worship a shrine of Fedor in your room.
- You wonder how many rounds you'd last with the local bodybuilders.
- You pretend to be the screaming Pride lady when your'e on your own in the house.


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## Xerxes (Aug 14, 2008)

When you think Fedor and Georges are badass names.


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## Evil Ira (Feb 9, 2009)

Xerxes said:


> When you think Fedor and Georges are badass names.


Thats what I'm gonna name my babies - regardless of whether they are boy or girl.


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## Xerxes (Aug 14, 2008)

Lol. IMO Fedora would be a beatiful name for a girl :dunno:


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## CornbreadBB (Jul 31, 2008)

When you say Emelianenko Fedor instead of the other way around.

When a girl tells you they watch MMA (or don't mind it) you instantly get a stiffy.

If someone is walking too slowly infront of you, you wonder how they would react to a rear naked choke.

Men with no body hair doesn't make you think twice.


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## chuck fan (russ) (Nov 13, 2006)

MLD said:


> *You "cut weight" instead of diet.


This is so funny because I say that all the time. " dam i've put on a few pounds i will have to cut weight to get back into my weight class .

*When ever your friends wrestle you wish you was on the floor with the half naked man.

*Never mind how big somebody is you always think 'well if I get him on his back I can win this'.

*Your friends avoid mma in general because when they get you started you dont shut the F*** up!

*Instead of watching porn you watch a large russian and couldnt imagine anybody else you would rather marry. Just me?

also

*Instead of having naked lady pictures on your comp and as your background you have fedor as your background (that you made yourself obviously) and random pictures of buff looking half nude guys.

*When talking to lasses you cant help but go on about mma.

*You want to assault anybody who says anything about mma and they dont know what they are talking about.


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## Freelancer (Jul 5, 2007)

chuck fan (russ) said:


> This is so funny because I say that all the time. " dam i've put on a few pounds i will have to cut weight to get back into my weight class .
> 
> *When ever your friends wrestle you wish you was on the floor with the half naked man.
> 
> ...


This happens to me all the time.


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

Xerxes said:


> When you think Fedor and Georges are badass names.


That's because they are!


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## Brainshank (Nov 25, 2008)

I'm so guilty of so many of these...hilarious.

-Your children recognize fighters on the TV but have no idea who any other celebrities are other than spongebob...

-Friends have begun avoiding asking politely "who won?" after a fight because they know you won't shut up about who won and how for the next 45 minutes

-Your wife/gf has finally stopped giggling when they hear the term "rear naked choke" and they finally believe it is legitimate, not something you made up to make fun of them


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## mickkelly12 (Jan 19, 2008)

you wake your mother up at least once a month between 3 and 6 in the morning shouting at a live UFC event on tv


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## DAMURDOC (May 27, 2007)

Thanks guys, some of them actually apply to me.


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## SimplyNate (May 27, 2007)

You tweak your nipples before any competion.


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## Freelancer (Jul 5, 2007)

SimplyNate said:


> You tweak your nipples before any competion.


I'm actually gonna try that.:thumb02:


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## GMK13 (Apr 20, 2009)

constantly imagining how a fight would go between you and random people or even acquaintances


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## chuck fan (russ) (Nov 13, 2006)

* You ground and pound your dog until he manages to run away.

* You class people into different weight classes rather than saying there tall, muscular or fat.

* If you are walking behind somebody who is relatively big you consider getting him in a rnc to find out if you can choke him out.

* You mention mma on your cv to apply for jobs.

* You always mt clinch your friends.

* You masturbate to your favourite fighters atleast 12 times a day. (Just me again?)


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## pipe (Jun 15, 2008)

70seven said:


> -
> 
> -You know what your theme music and nickname would be if you were a fighter.
> 
> ...


I do all these


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## SimplyNate (May 27, 2007)

You constantly do the Wandy hand roll when standing around waiting for something.


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## CornbreadBB (Jul 31, 2008)

SimplyNate said:


> You constantly do the Wandy hand roll when standing around waiting for something.


:thumb02::thumb02: My ma saw me doing this once and was worried that I was having some sort of seizure.


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## TERMINATOR (Jul 6, 2008)

when you see wreckless drivers and you refer to them as "pulling a Rampage"


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## SimplyNate (May 27, 2007)

You wonder if the camera adds 10 pounds to Tito's head or if it's really that big.


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

SimplyNate said:


> You wonder if the camera adds 10 pounds to Tito's head or if it's really that big.


LMAO! I think it really is that big.


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## MenorcanMadman (Jan 8, 2009)

SimplyNate said:


> You constantly do the Wandy hand roll when standing around waiting for something.


Ha, I do this all the time, ill just be bored and start rolling my hands like that and people are like "What the f*** are you doing?" 

*If you think Time To Say Goodbye by Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli is badass:thumb02:


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## Guy (Feb 17, 2008)

-You heelhook your girlfriend for the hell of it

-You consider yourself to be a BJJ wizard just because your friends don't know anything about BJJ and you tap them out all the time

-You think you can beat up pro MMA guys with horrible records

-You use judo throws and a BJJ guard during a freestyle wrestling match (that happened to me)


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## NastyNinja (Feb 4, 2009)

-You want to destroy your girlfriend in bed because she is screaming like crazy when her fighter gets nocked out by big dumb ass fighters who are 1-1 and get title shots.

-You like no Gi time with other men

-When your taxes come back and you open the mail and you instantly drop to your back with your gaurd up while trying to recover.

-You wonder why Fador is not in the new street fighter game

-You are going to get fired if you keep posting on MMAforums but dont stop

-You name your Massive Multi player charater names after UFC fighters.

-You try to send your energy out into the universe and to the fighter you want to win on the PPV you are watching at that moment in hopes he can use it to win.

-You say "WOW" when you see a cut MMA fighter and not understand how gay everybody else thinks you are now.

-You are taking a shit and going over moves with your hands and you get way into and and attempt a double leg and end up on the floor with a dirty butt and a lesson on how to time your strikes.

-You want to see somebody do a Ken/Ryu Dragon punch SOOO bad because you understand how extreamly epic and insane it would be to really happen in MMA

-You drink pee now because a MMA fighter said he did

-You go into the forrest on a bike

-You are being yelled at by your gf and you sit and wonder what Fador does when hes being yelled at by his women.

-You take a toke or drink whenever forrest smiles.

-You wake up loved ones with the Goldberg 5inch stare and interview them as they scream WTF

-You want to adopt a Brazil kid so he can teach you BJJ


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## MLD (Oct 15, 2006)

NastyNinja said:


> -You want to destroy your girlfriend in bed because she is screaming like crazy when her fighter gets nocked out by big dumb ass fighters who are 1-1 and get title shots.
> 
> -You like no Gi time with other men
> 
> ...


Nice to know I'm not alone on some of these. 

Eventually the health care industry will come up with a name for this affliction. Something like *Chronic Hyperfightosis*. Then health insurance companies will approve the use of certain treatments such as measured doses of MMA exposure, or a kick-the-habit plan. But what would be the remedy? It would have to be strong medicine.


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

I posted this before in a similar thread last year:

When you see a boring street fight, you yell "Stay busy, guys!"


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## Freelancer (Jul 5, 2007)

You complain about unrealistic fight scenes in movies.


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## chuck fan (russ) (Nov 13, 2006)

Freelancer said:


> You complain about unrealistic fight scenes in movies.


hehe yeah thats me also, infact I did it yesterday when watching 'The fast and furious'(new film) and vin diesel hits the other geezer in the face loads of times but the other guy isn't dazed or cut so I shouted at the cat.


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## LV 2 H8 U (Nov 7, 2006)

swpthleg said:


> I posted this before in a similar thread last year:
> 
> When you see a boring street fight, you yell "Stay busy, guys!"


I say that when I'm watching porn too.


When during sex you start looking for ways to pass her guard.
When doin it doggy style you're tempted to throw in the hooks and sink in the choke.
When every conversation comes around to fighting.
When you listen to only entrance songs.
When you will go through the trouble of begging a non MMA fan friend to get into your guard so you can better explain a move to them.


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

LV 2 H8 U said:


> I say that when I'm watching porn too.
> 
> 
> When during sex you start looking for ways to pass her guard.
> ...


If I could FIND half the entrance songs I like, my iPod would be full to capacity!


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## Stewinacoffin55 (May 5, 2009)

*you won a rock, paper, scissors game via triangle choke.
*you cried when Randy Couture retired
*you cried when Randy Couture returned 
*you know the proper way to pronounce Emelianenko
*you've tapped your mom out.
*you play Fight night, Mortal Kombat, and Street fighter so you're a well rounded gamer.


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## SimplyNate (May 27, 2007)

You gave the cashier a flying armbar when she tried to give you your change.


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## Evo (Feb 12, 2007)

JayMJjinks said:


> You're constantly "sizing up" random people you don't even know and visualizing how a fight would go down between the two of you.



Omg, I'm completely guilty of this one.


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## Guy (Feb 17, 2008)

-You won't fight bigger guys because they are not in your weight class.

-You think you've got the same skills as the guy you're watching from Youtube highlight videos.


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## SimplyNate (May 27, 2007)

You forgot that Joe Rogan was a comedian.


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## D.P. (Oct 8, 2008)

SimplyNate said:


> You forgot that Joe Rogan was a comedian.


Nev er considered him one in the first place.

Oh and bump for MOAR!


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## joppp (Apr 21, 2007)

I've learned my little sister armbar, RNC and a wristlock. When we battle (her name for an all out grapplign war) she uses wristlock and RNC mostly.....


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

D.P. said:


> Nev er considered him one in the first place.
> 
> Oh and bump for MOAR!


Except when Tyrone Biggums appeared on Fear Factor; with his expert carrying of Joe Rogan, Rogan became funny.


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## Toxie (Mar 18, 2007)

lmaoooo most of these things apply to me.. 

-you're automatically attracted to guys who are knowledgeable mma fans

-you wear your mma women's shirts and wonder if anyone is going to notice that its an mma shirt


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## LV 2 H8 U (Nov 7, 2006)

Sometimes I wear my mouth piece while doing the "Brownchickenbrowncow"


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

LV 2 H8 U said:


> Sometimes I wear my mouth piece while doing the "Brownchickenbrowncow"


If you've seriously considered using wite-out or white nail polish to paint vampire teeth on your black mouthguard.


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## mmaaggie69 (Mar 25, 2009)

:thumb02: if you ever pulled rubber guard so he could hit your g spot

you swept guard to mount because you wanted to control the pace.



Toxie said:


> -you wear your mma women's shirts and wonder if anyone is going to notice that its an mma shirt


that has soooo happened to me


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## D.P. (Oct 8, 2008)

When you're a member of an MMA forum.


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## LV 2 H8 U (Nov 7, 2006)

D.P. said:


> When you're a member of an MMA forum.


And most of the people you know don't even know what MMA is let alone a forum.


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## Darkwraith (Jun 4, 2008)

Toxie said:


> -you're automatically attracted to guys who are knowledgeable mma fans


Nice!!



-when you are sitting at your Dad's house on Father's day and all you can think about is how you would love to choke your sister's boyfriend unconscious..


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

When you wonder if you should avoid putting on any lotion in the morning, out of courtesy to any potential grappling opponent later.


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## MLD (Oct 15, 2006)

Darkwraith said:


> Nice!!
> 
> 
> 
> -when you are sitting at your Dad's house on Father's day and all you can think about is how you would love to choke your sister's boyfriend unconscious..


That is classic! Made me laugh out loud.

After last nights fights I had to attack my 6'2" friend that outweighs me by 80lbs and usually rubs my face on the living room carpet when I attack him...but this time I avoided his takedown, got his back in a strange stooped over standing position, and choke him until he tapped. It was my first victory over him in several years. Thankfully he had a mouthful of food in when I sunk in the choke, which really improved my chances of gaining the submission.


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## D.P. (Oct 8, 2008)

When you take a friendly scrap with your friend in the living room seriously and use words like victory, and tap out.

:thumb02:


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## mmawrestler (May 18, 2008)

-You tell all your friends that chuck liddell would kick their ass
-you always watch ufc fighting
-You only were tapout
-The only non-ufc fighter you know is kimbo slice
-BROCK LESNAR IS SO COOL
every morning you rub the shiny dome of your dana white dieti

True signs of an *mma* fan:sarcastic12:


hahahah no but acually.

- You* always* sink in your underhooks when hugging your parents

- See a baby playing with her feet and admire thier rubber gaurd

- REFUSE to have sex missionary because you dontlike being in their gaurd

-90% of your thought process is mma related

-Think about mma more than sex

-pretend your fingers are legs and work your leg submissions

-Cannot watch not any form of fighting on tv, because you cringe so hard that you throw your back out

- when dancing with a girl you resist the temptation to hiptoss her (most of the time)

- Have the ultimate fighter theme song on your workout playlist

-You try to avoid sparking a conversation about mma at a party because you know the person you are about to talk to dosnt even know about fedor

-You wish everyday that your house was a gym

- you wish your parents would have started you training when you were 1

-your friends get pissed because you act like every ufc event is bigger than the superbowl

- you have never met anyone in person, that can carry a conversation about mma and know every fighter you are talking about



D.P. said:


> Nev er considered him one in the first place.
> 
> Oh and bump for MOAR!


are you saying you dont like his standup?
I thought you were cool D.P


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

When you think about which sponsors you'd like on your shorts.

When you price out building materials for an octagon, including the suspended floor.

When you wash your hand wraps with fabric softener so someone can smell the April freshness before you pop them in the face. OK, maybe this is just me.


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## MLD (Oct 15, 2006)

swpthleg said:


> When you wash your hand wraps with fabric softener so someone can smell the April freshness before you pop them in the face. OK, maybe this is just me.


That was hilarious! 

You use Febreeze air freshener on your shorts so when you lock in the triangle on someone, they just lay there content and sniff.


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## mmawrestler (May 18, 2008)

MLD said:


> That was hilarious!
> 
> You use Febreeze air freshener on your shorts so when you lock in the triangle on someone, they just lay there content and sniff.


Thats a good idea for a febreez commercial


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

LOL all my clothes that I take class/spar in are April fresh. It's the smell of IN YA FACE! Also, when those guys get sweating in there, if I have to put my shirt collar up over my nose, it just looks like I'm letting some air down my shirt instead of getting sick from the sweaty dude smell.


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## Darkwraith (Jun 4, 2008)

swpthleg said:


> LOL all my clothes that I take class/spar in are April fresh. It's the smell of IN YA FACE! Also, when those guys get sweating in there, if I have to put my shirt collar up over my nose, it just looks like I'm letting some air down my shirt instead of getting sick from *the sweaty dude smell*.


Oh come on... sweaty guy smell is supposed to turn you girls on! :confused03:


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## D.P. (Oct 8, 2008)

mmawrestler said:


> are you saying you dont like his standup? I thought you were cool D.P


You like his standup comedy?!?


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

Darkwraith said:


> Oh come on... sweaty guy smell is supposed to turn you girls on! :confused03:


Survey says that our nose says "ew", but our reproductive engine says "aaaaawwwwwwyyyyyyeeeaaaaahhh" and plays "Pony" by Ginuwine.


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## Future Champ (Sep 15, 2006)

when your closet looks like a mma clothing store

when you tell all of your friends that you can win any fight as long as you take it to the ground

when u get drunk ask everybody at the party to wrestle


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## Darkwraith (Jun 4, 2008)

swpthleg said:


> Survey says that our nose says "ew", but our reproductive engine says "aaaaawwwwwwyyyyyyeeeaaaaahhh" and plays "Pony" by Ginuwine.


I KNEW IT! Girls should be all over me then since it is hot as **** around here lately...So should I stop off at the bar after cutting some trees up tomorrow? Without Showering? :thumbsup:


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

My 10th-grade biology teacher told us that if we had a "hot date" we should run around the block first, to sweat a little and get those pheromones pumping.

CLEAN guy sweat, like if you showered that morning and sweated that day, isn't bad. It damnsure exudes pheromone.


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## IronMan (May 15, 2006)

swpthleg said:


> My 10th-grade biology teacher told us that if we had a "hot date" we should run around the block first, to sweat a little and get those pheromones pumping.
> 
> CLEAN guy sweat, like if you showered that morning and sweated that day, isn't bad. It damnsure exudes pheromone.


I had a GF who thought that I was sexiest after sparring. She liked to watch the sparring though. Kinda weird. Like her version of porn.

Don't judge.


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

I love watching 30-40ish dudes spar. (my age group.) Then it's funny b/c they're all "ow my back" and taking off various braces afterward.


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## IronMan (May 15, 2006)

swpthleg said:


> I love watching 30-40ish dudes spar. (my age group.) Then it's funny b/c they're all "ow my back" and taking off various braces afterward.


Haha, I like sparring with 30-40ish guys, because after I tap them twice they're tired. Then I can start to work the gogoplata from the mount.


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## Darkwraith (Jun 4, 2008)

IronMan said:


> Haha, I like sparring with 30-40ish guys, because after I tap them twice they're tired. Then I can start to work the gogoplata from the mount.


You are not nice to us old guys...


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## swpthleg (Dec 31, 2006)

So many 40ish guys that do martial arts ignore endurance cardio, which would help them a lot if they do any grappling art as well. This isn't a good idea if they are to face someone like IronMan.


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## IronMan (May 15, 2006)

swpthleg said:


> So many 40ish guys that do martial arts ignore endurance cardio, which would help them a lot if they do any grappling art as well. This isn't a good idea if they are to face someone like IronMan.


Haha, my cardio right now is aweful, but I'm still a young guy, so I've got that on my side.

Mostly, they don't like getting beat by me, because, as Pat Miletich once so politely put it, I look like a twelve year old.


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## mmawrestler (May 18, 2008)

IronMan said:


> Haha, I like sparring with 30-40ish guys, because after I tap them twice they're tired. Then I can start to work the gogoplata from the mount.


hahaha gotsta love me some gogoplata from the mount


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## KillerG (Nov 14, 2006)

When your 2 year old knows to tap out of "chokes and holds".
You always hug with either double under or over under control
Your tempted to get out of the "guard" during sex


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## Dr Gonzo (May 27, 2010)

When you bump 2 year old threads to talk about MMA. :confused05:


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## Rauno (Nov 20, 2009)

Tyson Fury said:


> When you bump 2 year old threads to talk about MMA. :confused05:


Actually, this thread is worthy of a resurrection. I laughed my ass off in the first pages already. 

- When you're wrestling/playing with younger relatives and you constantly try some next level BJJ shit on them.


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## Life B Ez (Jan 23, 2010)

-When you own more Rashguards than T-shirts.

guilty...


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## Rauno (Nov 20, 2009)

- When you picture a fight with smembody, you don't think if you can take him, you think about his reach advantages (for shorties).


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## Dr Gonzo (May 27, 2010)

Rauno said:


> Actually, this thread is worthy of a resurrection. I laughed my ass off in the first pages already.
> 
> - When you're wrestling/playing with younger relatives and you constantly try some next level BJJ shit on them.


Followed suit and read a few pages. I agree. Worthy of resurrection for sure. :thumb02:

-When you create a fantasy career of yourself as an MMA fighter in your head and continue the chronolgy every night while you fall asleep. 

-When you imagine how you would fight every dude in the street, in the cage.

-When you practise choke holds on your 4 year old nephew.

-When you practise ground positioning on your dog.


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