# UFC funniest quotes



## Eman (Dec 29, 2008)

Hi guys

I know everybody's still talkin about Brock but am I the only person that found the followin comment funny...

" Frank had a horse shoe up his ass, I removed that sumbitch and beat him over the head with it!" 

:happy02:

I think it was more the way he said it than what he said which was a prick thing to do by puttin frank on blast like that.

What other quotes by other fighters have you found funny?


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## GodlyMoose (May 20, 2007)

You just might as well as have renamed the thread funniest Ken Shamrock/Quinton Jackson/Bas quotes.



> You wanna step up here you know what I'm sayin' and open your TRAP cuz' that's all you know how to do is open your TRAP! I'm gonna knock your hair black.





> I will get my respect or I will die.





> I'm gonna beat you into a living death!





> You got kicked with a kick.



All of those are Shamrock gold.


There are of course others from other fighters.



Charles Bennett said:


> I do a lot of jacking off, ya know, because I don’t get no women, so these arms are, like, humongously big. See it’s workout, and it’s pleasure...





Tim Sylvia said:


> 90 percent of the game is half mental





Tim Sylvia said:


> Im the oldest I’ve ever been, right now





Tito Ortiz said:


> you will be the last of the mohicans





Tank Abbott said:


> I thought I was getting raped by Freddy Mercury.



There are tons more.


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## Cohobow (Oct 16, 2006)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbm_-f8mmDw

That's my favorite.

And this one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_U6Gb8preG4


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## georgie17891 (Dec 21, 2008)

By ken shamrock

"oh yeah were gonna see who the mokey is wont we..... monkey"


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## funkyboogalooo (Jan 28, 2009)

Those Tim Silvia ones are legendary.


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## DragonStriker (Feb 11, 2009)

BJ Penn - To the death

I love that one. BJ is the man.


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## AceofSpades187 (Apr 18, 2009)

funkyboogalooo said:


> Those Tim Silvia ones are legendary.


Yea ahahaha hes a funny guy:thumbsup:


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## diablo5597 (Nov 12, 2008)

I liked it when Thiago Alves said "shitle tot"


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## Hammerlock2.0 (Jun 17, 2009)

GSP at UFC65 said:


> "I knew I hurt him, because when I threw my first elbow... he said 'UGGH!'"


:thumbsup:


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## GMK13 (Apr 20, 2009)

Brock Lesnars from ufc 100 was pretty funny about the golden horse shoe


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## Hammerlock2.0 (Jun 17, 2009)

Goldberg said:


> "And Joe for Matt Hughes, dislike may not be a strong enough adjective!"
> 
> "He has a 2 lb reach advantage."


And don't forget Dana...



DW said:


> "It isn't all about signing autographs and banging broads."


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## mickkelly12 (Jan 19, 2008)

DragonStriker said:


> BJ Penn - To the death
> 
> I love that one. BJ is the man.


To the 4th more like.I still havent forgiven him for that performance grease or no.


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## Combat Soul (Oct 2, 2008)

mickkelly12 said:


> To the 4th more like.I still havent forgiven him for that performance grease or no.


Neither has he I would have thought. I suspect the embarrassment will be taken out on KenFlo's face.


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## M.C (Jul 5, 2008)

I know this isn't UFC related and some aren't exactly "Funny", but damn, I have to post Wandy quotes:

"I want to ****... I want to, fight with Chuck. **** Chuck!" 

"All I guarantee is Violence"

"I challenged Coleman and he accepted, he said he'd fight me. I pointed at Baroni and challenged him too, he looked at me with a bewildered look on his face and asked: "Me?", I said "Thats right, You!!" I also challenged Quinton Jackson and he looked at me and said "Me too?", and I responded. If you want some, there is some for you too!" 

"Many times I say I want to fight with him but he no want to fight with me. I dunno who is the problem" 

"I will make him my new Sakuraba"

"I think that when Fedor Emelianenko goes to the UFC, the party is over. I don't know how he is now, but if he fights as he fought before, he is going to pull of the head of his opponents and just leave the bodies in the octagon." 

"He wasn't talking to his girlfriend(Rampage on the phone before their second fight), he was booking a room at the hospital"

That's all for now.

Keep in mind, some of these aren't EXACT quotes, but very close.


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## GodlyMoose (May 20, 2007)

DragonStriker said:


> BJ Penn - To the death
> 
> I love that one. BJ is the man.


Here's another BJ one.




> My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs.


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## DragonStriker (Feb 11, 2009)

mickkelly12 said:


> To the 4th more like.I still havent forgiven him for that performance grease or no.


Forgive and forget is what I say. :thumb02:


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## D.P. (Oct 8, 2008)

“I kicked him in the head, kneed him in the face, call it a day baby, gimme my check!”

- Brandon Vera (as heard on UFC Undisputed 2009)


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## TERMINATOR (Jul 6, 2008)

They were so many good ones hard to name them all


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## xeberus (Apr 23, 2007)

"matt hughes is a dick, a talented dick, but a dick" matt serra 

"It is not a tenderness time. I am not falling in love with him, and he knows when the fight starts I kick faces." Wanderlei Silva (best ever)

"i'm the fuckin man, people don't get it." phil baroni

"Punch him in the balls, kick him in the balls, knee him in the balls. You can do whatever you like"
"No beer before 5 p.m., wait... did I just say that?"
"You can buy muscles (steroids) but you can't buy COJONES"
"My testosterone level was that of 24 full grown men, they had to send it around to three different laboratories to make sure the doctor wasn´t joking."
"Pitbulls are for pussies!"
"They should put spikes on the ringpost, to make it more interesting."
-Bas Ruten


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## funkyboogalooo (Jan 28, 2009)

xeberus said:


> "They should put spikes on the ringpost, to make it more interesting."
> -Bas Ruten


Only Bas, raise01:


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## mihklo (Jun 18, 2008)

not the funniest stuff, but tom lawlor's post fight interview was decent

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xd6Z6Ydcyo4

and for those that didnt see his walk-out, it gave me a good laugh! crappy video but the only i could find.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_WCbl8yFxs


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## Indestructibl3 (Apr 2, 2009)

DragonStriker said:


> BJ Penn - To the death


and also "Sean Sherk, you're dead!"


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## 70seven (Mar 5, 2007)

Interviewer: Where did you get that mustache from Don?
Don Frye: From my mothers side of the family, she's not a pretty woman.

I’ve been watching alot of DVD’s” – James Thompson when asked about his training

“I am very confident this fight can go either way.” – Kem Shamrock


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## Flaw (Dec 28, 2006)

"I'm the man! I'm the man! I'm the best eva! EVA!"
Phil Baroni.


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## Danomac (Oct 15, 2006)

This just in: Tom Lawlor is the man.


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## georgie17891 (Dec 21, 2008)

mike goldberg:sometimes we talk about fighters that arnet talked about anymore


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## D.P. (Oct 8, 2008)

mihklo said:


> not the funniest stuff, but tom lawlor's post fight interview was decent
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xd6Z6Ydcyo4
> 
> ...


That guy is my new favorite fighter. And that was just from when I saw the weigh-ins. :laugh:


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## mwhite18 (Feb 3, 2008)

"Matt(hughes) and his brother used to pound eachother behind the barn when they were younger"- Goldie


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## Blitzdog (Jul 9, 2009)

looking for the quote from Tito to Shamrock where he refers to their last fight and calls him a "pumpkinhead" 

i still crack up when i think of that exchange

Rashad Evans!!! He will be my Nappy Headed Ho. On 7-7-07...Let The Punishment Begin!!! 

How did that work out for ya Tito? LMFAO


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## Bonnar426 (Jul 18, 2006)

I'm going to give Keith Jardine Hell but I don't think he'll mind because he sorta looks like Satan.- Stephan Bonnar

If I beat Phil Baroni then I'm the man but if he beats me then so what!- Pete Sell

YES!- Diego Sanchez


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